Well, it was a good thing that we were ready because a few short hours later I woke up with cramps unlike anything I had ever felt before. I went to the bathroom and felt my mucous plug fall out. I was surprised and frightened by the amount of blood, so I woke my husband and then called the doctor. The operator told me that Dr. wallace was on call and she would call me right back.
Who the hell is Dr. Wallace?!?
Throughout my pregnancy, I had met with each of the OBs in the practice at least once so that I would be comfortable with whoever happened to be on call when I went into labor, but I had never even heard of Dr. Wallace. Panic set in. A few minutes later Dr. Wallace called me back and, after going over my history, told me to come in.
My husband put my overnight bags in the car and we set off for the hospital. I was nervous and excited and terrified - I was about to have a baby!
I was 2cm dilated when I arrived at the hospital and 3cm a half an hour later. Dr. Wallace did a sonogram which, of course, revealed that baby was still breach and would have to be born by a c-section. Even though this was hardly news, it was starting to feel very real and I was starting to feel scared. Dr. Wallace was really nice, but she wasn't my doctor and I wanted my doctor.
I had been waiting to call my parents because I didn't want to wake them earlier than necessary, but around 5am I couldn't wait any longer. Everything was happening so fast, I was afraid that they might not make it in time if I waited too long. My husband also called his parents. His mother, who is an anesthesiologist, told him to make sure we insisted on having an anesthesiologist (rather than a nurse anesthetist) do my spinal. We told Dr. Wallace and she said that we would have to wait for the anesthesiologist. To be honest, this was a bit of a relief to me. I was pretty scared and wanted things to slow down a bit. It turned out that this decision to wait meant that my doctor would be there to do the section - another sigh of relief for me!
Despite all of this relief, by about 8am, I was shaking uncontrollably with fear. As they walked me into the O.R., the nurses kept offering me blankets because they thought I was shivering from being cold. I kept telling them that I was really scared. They were nice, but they didn't help me to feel any better.
It seemed to take forever for the anesthesiologist to insert the spinal. At one point, a sharp pain ran down my left leg and I cried out. He assured me that this was normal, but it just made me more afraid. I was just as scared of this part as I was of the actual operation. Finally, it was finished and they helped me to lay down. I was still shaking as they pinned a sheet up below my chin and I asked when my husband could come in. I was told he would be there soon. I glanced at the blood pressure monitor and saw that my pressure was soaring at 210/105.
The anesthesiologist, but something on my chest and asked me if it felt cold. I told him that it did. Then he did the same on my stomach. He continued to do this until I said that it didn't feel cold on my stomach. I didn't like that I could feel it at all on my stomach because I thought that this would mean that I would feel the scalpel. I was hoping to be more numb than that. At some point, it became clear to the anesthesiologist that I was terrified. He told me that most women would be excited and that I was breaking his heart. He asked me if I would like something to help me relax and I said yes. He explained to me that it might affect my "memory of the event." I told him that I didn't care. I still don't know what it was that he gave me, but it definitely did the trick, and I remember "the event" just fine.
Finally, my husband came in and they gave him a seat near my head. He knew that I was scared and did his best to talk to me to keep my mind off of what was happening. It wasn't long before I heard a commotion and my husband said that he could see the baby. The doctor held him up above the sheet, but I couldn't see him. My husband took a couple of pictures for me.
I asked why he wasn't crying, but almost as soon as I had asked, I heard him cry. It was not the moment that I thought it would be. It felt like someone else's baby was crying, not mine.
Someone asked my husband if he would like to cut the cord and he walked away out of my view. Unable to move, I desperately waited for him to come back. When he returned, I saw my baby for the first time. He was an amazing sight, but still did not feel like my baby. I was very aware of this disconnect and hoped that it would go away when I got to hold him.
It seemed to take forever for the doctors to finish closing me up and I did my best not to listen to what was happening below that sheet. The anesthesiologist took a few pictures of the three of us together. Finally, they lifted me onto a bed and, just before they wheeled me out, they handed me my baby.
next:
Breastfeeding Part I
I was 2cm dilated when I arrived at the hospital and 3cm a half an hour later. Dr. Wallace did a sonogram which, of course, revealed that baby was still breach and would have to be born by a c-section. Even though this was hardly news, it was starting to feel very real and I was starting to feel scared. Dr. Wallace was really nice, but she wasn't my doctor and I wanted my doctor.
I had been waiting to call my parents because I didn't want to wake them earlier than necessary, but around 5am I couldn't wait any longer. Everything was happening so fast, I was afraid that they might not make it in time if I waited too long. My husband also called his parents. His mother, who is an anesthesiologist, told him to make sure we insisted on having an anesthesiologist (rather than a nurse anesthetist) do my spinal. We told Dr. Wallace and she said that we would have to wait for the anesthesiologist. To be honest, this was a bit of a relief to me. I was pretty scared and wanted things to slow down a bit. It turned out that this decision to wait meant that my doctor would be there to do the section - another sigh of relief for me!Despite all of this relief, by about 8am, I was shaking uncontrollably with fear. As they walked me into the O.R., the nurses kept offering me blankets because they thought I was shivering from being cold. I kept telling them that I was really scared. They were nice, but they didn't help me to feel any better.
It seemed to take forever for the anesthesiologist to insert the spinal. At one point, a sharp pain ran down my left leg and I cried out. He assured me that this was normal, but it just made me more afraid. I was just as scared of this part as I was of the actual operation. Finally, it was finished and they helped me to lay down. I was still shaking as they pinned a sheet up below my chin and I asked when my husband could come in. I was told he would be there soon. I glanced at the blood pressure monitor and saw that my pressure was soaring at 210/105.
The anesthesiologist, but something on my chest and asked me if it felt cold. I told him that it did. Then he did the same on my stomach. He continued to do this until I said that it didn't feel cold on my stomach. I didn't like that I could feel it at all on my stomach because I thought that this would mean that I would feel the scalpel. I was hoping to be more numb than that. At some point, it became clear to the anesthesiologist that I was terrified. He told me that most women would be excited and that I was breaking his heart. He asked me if I would like something to help me relax and I said yes. He explained to me that it might affect my "memory of the event." I told him that I didn't care. I still don't know what it was that he gave me, but it definitely did the trick, and I remember "the event" just fine.
I asked why he wasn't crying, but almost as soon as I had asked, I heard him cry. It was not the moment that I thought it would be. It felt like someone else's baby was crying, not mine.
Someone asked my husband if he would like to cut the cord and he walked away out of my view. Unable to move, I desperately waited for him to come back. When he returned, I saw my baby for the first time. He was an amazing sight, but still did not feel like my baby. I was very aware of this disconnect and hoped that it would go away when I got to hold him. It seemed to take forever for the doctors to finish closing me up and I did my best not to listen to what was happening below that sheet. The anesthesiologist took a few pictures of the three of us together. Finally, they lifted me onto a bed and, just before they wheeled me out, they handed me my baby.
next:
Breastfeeding Part I
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